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Pain

by on April 19, 2013

So, I know I talked about bad pain and joint pain two posts ago in “Ow Means No.”

That said, I recognize the fact that most of us are only going to deal with the right kind of pain, the sore muscles that result from hard work and effort. Hopefully very few of us deal with debilitating joint problems.

I’ve said here and there that I’m recovering from surgery on my foot. I’m at the point now where I am walking around in a support boot, a cam walker that provides stability while giving my foot the chance to get used to this whole “walking” thing we sometimes need to do. The process is slow.

And it is painful.

So pain is on my mind for today’s A to Z blog challenge topic. And hey, this is my blog, so I’ll write about whatever I want.

I’m trying to use that pain to drive me forward, to strengthen my resolve. Of course, I’m also trying to be careful, smart about my limits. I want to make sure that this foot heals fully.

But I refuse to let it sit me down or take me out.

I wrote a few haiku as I’ve been dealing with the frustration and pain.

Gritted teeth, feels like

walking on pins… ‘Cause I am.

And I’ll keep going.

I have two screws inserted through the heel bone (the talus, I believe) into the bone right above that. I have a large scar across the left side of my right foot, which has healed pretty well, and a smaller scar across the back of my heel where it touches the ground. That scar has cracked in half, which is a bit unpleasant. I’m taking care of it as best as I can, to get it to heal.

But I still have to walk on the thing!

On Friday, I got out of my non-weight-bearing cast. The doctor suggested using the crutches for a few days to get used to putting weight on the foot. I was happy to throw those in the closet and temporarily use a cane. Today, I decided to leave the cane in the car. The sensation was excruciating at times, usually for the first several steps any time I started walking. But I was able to walk through the store carrying a basket of groceries unassisted. Things are progressing well.

Electrifying

pain shoots through my healing foot

fueling each next step

In two weeks I can (probably) start physical therapy. In four months, I’ll do a mock PT test to see if I’m ready for the official one in October. I’d love to regain my “Excellent” from last year, but I have to pass, because in today’s Air Force and with my past history, I can’t afford to fail. So somewhere in between there, I have to go from limping and lurching to full speed.

So if you know me, if you see me walking around sucking air through a clenched jaw, understand that I’m ok. I’m not happy, but I’m getting healthy, and the pain is part of getting there.

Fire flares in my nerves

A momentary trial.

Failure would be worse.

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From → Take a Breather

6 Comments
  1. Margareta permalink

    Hi Guy, hi guys. I have some fat guys in my life, too, but I love them just the way they are. I can;t change them. A to Z. We’re almost there. argareta

    • Change is definitely a difficult process. I’m glad you’re loving those people the way they are, not demanding they be the way someone else wants. And yes… A to Z is almost done. Then I think I’ll need time off.

  2. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain and hope you feel better soon.

  3. That sounds like it would hurt. Feel better soon.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

    • Thanks for the sympathy. I actually spent most of today walking around in the boot without a cane or any other support… so things are progressing well.

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